Waxy Wiener

To celebrate women's health week we will show a series of nobs crafted by female nobartists. Female nobartists are notoriously rare, though when discovered exhibit none of the reticence and need for anonymity associated with their male counterparts, often adding a signature to their work or working openly in public.
This first submission is an example of such public art, luckily snapped by a friend of the Nobservatory, this wax wang was skilfully moulded in a bar to the delight of onlookers.

Procrastination Peter

Ah! Students!
The source of so many wonderful nobart pieces! Surely the Nobservatory would be a ghost town without their wonderful contributions to the genre.
Let's spare a thought for those training their brains for the forthcoming exams this week as we ponder on this excellent procrastination piece snapped by @bananajambo and pinged to the Nobservatory courtesy of @pancake_one.
The chirpy character, far from feeling the strain of looming exams, appears inordinately pleased with himself - and so he should be! Check out his gigantic dong! The artist has skilfully crafted the massive whang from what appears to be blu-tack, closer inspection reveals a cunningly manipulated scrotal area giving stability to the shaft allowing for its gravity defying angle.
The Procrastination Peter is a perfect distraction for all you office types back in after the Bank Holiday too! Procrastinate like you mean it!

Ding Dong Bell

With springtime in full swing it's time for gardening aficionados to turn their fingers to greener pursuits - but that's no excuse to neglect your nobs! If any of you nobwatchers are planning on visiting the garden centres this weekend, make sure to Keep One Eye Out for this elegant piece of garden decor spotted by @pubby. We'll certainly be obtaining one for the Nobservatory grounds! 

The graceful curve of the nadgers will look at home in any verdant herbaceous border and the striking arc of the dong topped with it's feature ding dong bell end makes it the perfect conversation piece for nobby garden parties! It certainly gets our recommendation!

Percy Grower

Gardening Expert

Wienerstrasse

NobwatchUK was delighted to discover this homage to Nobart on the wonderfully named Wienerstrasse!
What would appear to be a shop sign in the sociallyacceptableinoffensiveconformistart style reveals hidden nobby depth. On closer inspection the diminutive tackle is brightly coloured in pastels gleefully projecting a stream of fluid joy forming a little heart shape. Exquisite!

Long Vehicle

A seasonal flurry is always bound to cause havoc for motorists, but never more than when coupled with a skilled nobartist! Discovered on the internets by @Grunheld, this titanic todger is not the sort of tool you'd usually keep in your car boot.
Clearly created by a massively skilled sculptor, the snownob shows delicate detail in it's mossy pubes and curvaceous bell. But the most striking thing is it's enormous size - if a car acts as a penis extension, what does this monster say about one's package?

The Flying Phallus

Once again our little nation has been shafted by Adverse Weather conditions - but while we're stuck indoors, unable to dig our motors out of the drifts for a Sunday morning jaunt, this enterprising sculptor is creating the perfect seasonal hood ornament spotted by @TedHawo - the Flying Phallus!  The Phallus stands proud and erect, flush to the wind, it's forward thrust indicating motion and eagerness. Nice one @TedHawo - the Nobservatory salutes you!
Naturally such a wondrous example of symbolic mascotry can't possibly be featured on a jalopy, this is no wanger for a banger... it must belong to one of those high performance jobs - the only things out on the road today.
The type that has four wheeled drive, wideboy tyres and a smug b@stard in the driver's seat. Nob!

5: Co-oold Rings!

While the Nobservatory extolls the values of nobart as an expressive form and is often astounded by the brilliance of the nobartists in their creativity, it is rare that nobart shows real skill. This amazing sculpture, believed by the Nobservatory to carry a scathing political statement, features a free standing snow figure, arm raised in triumph waving cheerfully at passing cars while happily shafting its rather sorry-looking counterpart.

Fountain Phallus

No serious study of Nobart would be complete without a one eyed wink at Pompeii. This is the stuff that gives nobartists their validation! Possibly the only nobart to acheive listed status, Pompeii boasts streets lined with ancient wangers. Well worth a gander, and don't worry, unlike most nobart, this'll be around for a while yet.

The RogerTodger

This appears to be an example of collaborative nobart though the Nobservatory is withholding judgement as to whether both parties agreed to/ were even aware of the collaboration. What we have is a character, not unlike Roger from American Dad, but with a nose... a nose that features a cockend. The question that is baffling our experts is: which came first? the Nob or the Nose?
We are faced with three possibilities:
1. The section demonstrating the most skill, the Roger, came first and the addition of the Todger was a skit by the nobartist, ruining or enhancing the original, whichever way you interpret it.
2. The Todger came first. In which case we have an adapted eunuch nob on our hands. Perhaps the nadgerless nob irritated a Nobserver who decided to seize the matter by the balls and add more detail - note the sac like quality of the bald Rogerpate.
3. It is a genuine collaboration piece, both Roger and his Todger were drawn at the same time indicating that novice nobartists are starting to apprentice themselves to people who can actually draw. What an incredible leap in the development of the genre that could herald!

Gno(b)mon

A fantastic example of rare council-funded nob-sculpture which also doubles up as a sundial! Lucky Brighton residents!

This picture was tweeted @NobwatchUK by @windust - nice work @windust! The Nobservatory salutes you!

Straw Pole 3

Is there no bounds to these Nobartists imaginations???

Yet another straw pole nob! This one displays both astounding attention to detail, considering the difficulty the nobartists must have in manipulating their chosen medium, and off-the-wall shapings. Pointedly erect (the nob is only viewable from above at certain angles which would indicate the intention was for it not to appear flaccid) the nob has a series of lines along its shaft, could these pertain to a saggy foreskin? Or a ribbed condom? Maybe a new and interestingly depicted STD?

The nuts are where the nobartists have let themselves down slightly, clearly less attention has been paid to the construction of them, with one bollock well formed but barely attached and the other outsized and flabby  - we like the meat, but we'll pass on the veg.

Johannesburg Wanger

Nobserved in the Johannesburg Hilton, this translucent wanger claims to be 'modern art'. Come off it folks! We all KNOW it's a nob! How you'd interpret the blue bit in the background we simply can't imagine, but that front bit, the textured,veiny shaft? The well defined bellend? That's a nob alright!

Happy Halloween

Wooohohohohoooo  Spooky!

Strawpole

This suberb 3D sculpture features elements of the organic in the nobartist's medium of choice, but also the digital in the tetris-style blockiness of the bell 'n' balls set. A vast structure, this nob dominates its location and is best viewed from above. The Nobservatory has a hunch that this one won't be around for very long, so keep one eye out for it this weekend!