12: Lords a-Leaping

To conclude our Seasonal Special, the 12 Nobs of Christmas, we have this wonderful submission from @Wormstir via Twitter.

 This Leaping Lord was snapped opposite a nobby bar in Chamonix. His gimpy headwear and dribbly whang belie his blue blood: the Nobservatory suspects he may be called Jonty or Tarquin

a nob taking his grossly outsized package for a jaunt on the piste.

The inscription on the abdomen reads "Lucky". It could be that the nobartist is rather jealous of this Fresh Prince of Bell End, dangling his massive swinger, merrily spunking away and quaffing martinis in his nobby local bar, never realising how priviledged he is while the nobartist cringes outside, alone in the cold with his stumpy little pencil.

11: Pipes a-Piping

 This artist-cum-lyricist has created a two part extravaganza of musical splendour evoking the spirit of the festive season and riotous good cheer. The first instalment cocks a snoot at the eponymous 'dreamer' who has delusions of a seven inch winkie. This hinting at the superior length (and no doubt girth) of the artist's own. You can almost feel him smirking and jigging as he dashes out his image, the toe tapping sweep of the two neat bollocks and chirpy upward tilt of the tip. What a happy little chappy he is!

For part two, this artist is clearly on a roll.  He can hardly contain himself. Note the bubbly style of the handwriting, the consonant harmony of the libretto: "love-ly popp-ers" it positively bounces off its cold urban backdrop, with a frisson of mince pies, mulled wine and santa hats. The cock, by contrast is clean lines and simplicity: a piper, piping one pure clean note; a bugle call; a single horn blown. The clarity of the piece is unsullied by pubes, texture or even ejaculate. In composite these two make a truly remarkable opus.

10: Ladies dangling

Here we have a nob on an hermaphroditic character carefully created around a climbing frame - this is great interactive piece allowing the casual viewer to add his or her hands and feet into the frame. We believe the lack of detail in the face region compared with the surfeit elsewhere is an encouragement for those tall enough to place their own face in the gap at the top.
The glyphs to the right of the character are, as yet, unfathomable. Dick Jr. is apparently quite good, but the explosive exclamation of FG! at the top remains a mystery.

9: Drummers Drumming

This nob found in an unfortunate state of decay evokes movement and rhythm. It's head has been carefully moulded to look like the fuzzy end of a drumstick. It's a nob created to be beaten - it's blurred outline indicating the vibrations.
Slap your gong with this dong!

8: Milking Manmeat

Naturally, we had to get you an ejaculator for this verse of the 12 Days, and what a grim one it is! You wouldn't want those hairy plums anywhere near your pudding!

7: Swans a-Swimming

This nob with it's swan-neck shaft evokes movement and fluidity of a near balletic nature. The colour white is significant, bringing to mind the purity first imagined by Tchaikovsky in his Swan Lake and the large, powerful head and slicing urethra hint at savagery and masculinity as realised in Matthew Bourne's contemporary imagining of the piece. With more loaded straps than you can shake a stick at, the all male swans know how to wave their wangers. But what of the nobartist? The influence is clear, but what was the purpose? Nobadvertising?

6: Eggy heads

Nobserved by a Friend of the Nobservatory and duly pilfered from a mate's FB account - this unfortunate egg head has found his balding pate transformed, by a mere fold in the paper, into a massive dong.
The Nobservatory wonders: Who is this man?
If you know who this is and what the storyline was, tweet us the answer @nobwatchuk

5: Co-oold Rings!

While the Nobservatory extolls the values of nobart as an expressive form and is often astounded by the brilliance of the nobartists in their creativity, it is rare that nobart shows real skill. This amazing sculpture, believed by the Nobservatory to carry a scathing political statement, features a free standing snow figure, arm raised in triumph waving cheerfully at passing cars while happily shafting its rather sorry-looking counterpart.

4: ZeppelinNobs

Not quite the colly birds of the song, the ZeppelinNob is heavier, it's solid frame and rotund nadgers belying its tiny wings. More likely to be dropping bombs than flitting gaily between branches, the ZeppelinNob still manages to give the viewer the impression of flight depsite its massive frame.

3 Little Peckers

NobWatchers! We may have found the tracks of the fabled Big Dick Crew! We're hot on their trail now! Though to protect their anonymity, we haven't actually included the scale on which the 'Crew are clearly meticulously basing their Nobart Sketches. That would be revealing too much... so we'll leave it to your imagination!

2: ChickenNobs

Another little gem from our Field Correspondent in Edinburgh. This nob deviates from the norms of the flaccid genre, though droopy, it impresses energy on the viewer, it's wing-like pubes poised and ready for takeoff. It also looks rather like a chicken.

Or turkey.

How are those leftovers going down?

1: A Nob from a colour TV

On the first day of Christmas my Nobwatch gave to me
A Nob from a Colour TV!

The Nobservatory would like to wish all it's nobwatching viewers a very Merry Christmas, and as a special seasonal treat we will be unveiling a new nob every day for the next twelve days to mark the Twelve Days of Christmas, so keep one eye out!

Our wintery extravaganza kicks off with this famous TV nob featured on the cult show Forbrydelsen. Positioned centrally between the two characters, we think it's almost like a sprig of mistletoe...

Enjoy!