Dong Decking

Hail next summer's must-have garden accessory - Dong Decking. The Nobservatory staff will certainly be Keeping One Eye Out from this stylish number come the end of winter...

Percy's Pick of the Crop competition...

Percy would love your pictures of humorous veg for his PhD study
- "The Phallic Nature of Vegatables" - supervised by Prof. Belle Ende ....

The best will make it to the Pick of the Crop in a few weeks time.

There will be no prize due to government cuts at the Nobservatory, but be smug

in the knowledge that you are aiding the world of food science.

you can email them to NobwatchUK@gmail.com

or send a link via the comments below, or our Twitter Feed @NobwatchUK

Phallus Drewesii

Ahhh, foraging season, my absolute favourite time of the year!
The must-find shroom for all you foodies out there is this, the wonderful Phallus Drewesii mushroom. Highly prized in super nobby restaurants, this stinky horn  goes perfectly with hot pork, beef injections and steaktubes.

Percy Grower

Ding Dong Bell

With springtime in full swing it's time for gardening aficionados to turn their fingers to greener pursuits - but that's no excuse to neglect your nobs! If any of you nobwatchers are planning on visiting the garden centres this weekend, make sure to Keep One Eye Out for this elegant piece of garden decor spotted by @pubby. We'll certainly be obtaining one for the Nobservatory grounds! 

The graceful curve of the nadgers will look at home in any verdant herbaceous border and the striking arc of the dong topped with it's feature ding dong bell end makes it the perfect conversation piece for nobby garden parties! It certainly gets our recommendation!

Percy Grower

Gardening Expert

Gardeners' Delight

Fresh from the Nobservatory Nurseries this new hybrid is set to take the Chelsea Flower Show by storm. This new breed, the Scrotus Verdi, is already creating a buzz in the gardening community. Affectionately known as 'Grandad's Bell', this is a hardy upright perennial hybrid of Bellflower, Dyckia and a Bulbous Assyrian Banana.

Grandad's Bell will grow good and strong in sunny sites near young ladies in bikinis. It can be susceptible to the Cock-Chafer Beetle grub in damp areas - a plump little grub with a swarthy tip and three legs.

Percy Grower
Gardening Expert