Pocket Rocket

A TV firework nob from the trailer for the well respected social-commentary documentary - Geordie Shore.

Happy Bonfire Night from the Nobservatory...  make sure you stay safe tonight and keep one eye out for hedgehogs in your piles.

Willy the Whisp

Willy the Whisp or Willi Fatuus is the name given to the ghostly cock-like etchings that can be found around the workplace. They appear as usually flaccid todgers. Their presence is, alas, fleeting. Within a few days at most the Willy is scrubbed away, only a fuzzy,ethereal outline attesting to it ever having existed.

waldsen grannies

Well, those feisty old-timers have been out and at it again! The Nobservatory was excited to receive this fantastic dong tag by the famously elusive Nobart circle, the Walsden Grannies.
The dong carries a note of searing invective aimed at the 'Youf of today' - its clean lines berating the perceived decline in the noble art of nob drawing. Stridently erect, it rails at the latest fad of flaccid cocks...  It wasn't like that in their day!

Percy's Pick of the Crop competition...

Percy would love your pictures of humorous veg for his PhD study
- "The Phallic Nature of Vegatables" - supervised by Prof. Belle Ende ....

The best will make it to the Pick of the Crop in a few weeks time.

There will be no prize due to government cuts at the Nobservatory, but be smug

in the knowledge that you are aiding the world of food science.

you can email them to NobwatchUK@gmail.com

or send a link via the comments below, or our Twitter Feed @NobwatchUK

Phallus Drewesii

Ahhh, foraging season, my absolute favourite time of the year!
The must-find shroom for all you foodies out there is this, the wonderful Phallus Drewesii mushroom. Highly prized in super nobby restaurants, this stinky horn  goes perfectly with hot pork, beef injections and steaktubes.

Percy Grower

Turtle's Neck

WELCOME NOBWATCHERS to the fantastic charity fundraiser NOBVEMBER!
The brainchild of the Nobservatory's brightest sparks, NobVember is the glabrous alternative to the popular Mo'vember - giving the opportunity for involvement to those who can't, or simply don't want to, grow a mo'.
During the month of NobVember, the Nobservatory will be aiming to release a different comedy dong for your delectation every day. So follow us on Twitter, join the Nobservatory on Facebook, spam us like mad to your mates and colleagues, snigger (in a slightly lewd manner) and above all SPONSOR US. It's going to be a wild ride!

And to kick start the extravaganza, we are proud to present the Nobservatory's uniform piece of choice for the month - the Turtle's Neck shirt....

New for NobVember, this season's must have: The Turtle's Neck shirt.
100% Polyester, details include: a flaccid accidental dong, matching collar and cuffs and contrast piping around the... pipe.  Wear with heels and straight leg trousers for the executive look and show them exactly who has the balls in the boardroom!

Turtle's Neck* available to purchase from ASOS

*Not it's real name