Happy New Year RocketNob

HAPPY NEW YEAR NOBWATCHERS! Here's hoping you're seeing some real fireworks tonight, but for those of you stuck for things to do, why not peruse this interstallar nob, trailing its pubes as it accelerates into the skies and beyond like a rocket...

7: Swans a-Swimming

This nob with it's swan-neck shaft evokes movement and fluidity of a near balletic nature. The colour white is significant, bringing to mind the purity first imagined by Tchaikovsky in his Swan Lake and the large, powerful head and slicing urethra hint at savagery and masculinity as realised in Matthew Bourne's contemporary imagining of the piece. With more loaded straps than you can shake a stick at, the all male swans know how to wave their wangers. But what of the nobartist? The influence is clear, but what was the purpose? Nobadvertising?

6: Eggy heads

Nobserved by a Friend of the Nobservatory and duly pilfered from a mate's FB account - this unfortunate egg head has found his balding pate transformed, by a mere fold in the paper, into a massive dong.
The Nobservatory wonders: Who is this man?
If you know who this is and what the storyline was, tweet us the answer @nobwatchuk

5: Co-oold Rings!

While the Nobservatory extolls the values of nobart as an expressive form and is often astounded by the brilliance of the nobartists in their creativity, it is rare that nobart shows real skill. This amazing sculpture, believed by the Nobservatory to carry a scathing political statement, features a free standing snow figure, arm raised in triumph waving cheerfully at passing cars while happily shafting its rather sorry-looking counterpart.

4: ZeppelinNobs

Not quite the colly birds of the song, the ZeppelinNob is heavier, it's solid frame and rotund nadgers belying its tiny wings. More likely to be dropping bombs than flitting gaily between branches, the ZeppelinNob still manages to give the viewer the impression of flight depsite its massive frame.

3 Little Peckers

NobWatchers! We may have found the tracks of the fabled Big Dick Crew! We're hot on their trail now! Though to protect their anonymity, we haven't actually included the scale on which the 'Crew are clearly meticulously basing their Nobart Sketches. That would be revealing too much... so we'll leave it to your imagination!

2: ChickenNobs

Another little gem from our Field Correspondent in Edinburgh. This nob deviates from the norms of the flaccid genre, though droopy, it impresses energy on the viewer, it's wing-like pubes poised and ready for takeoff. It also looks rather like a chicken.

Or turkey.

How are those leftovers going down?

1: A Nob from a colour TV

On the first day of Christmas my Nobwatch gave to me
A Nob from a Colour TV!

The Nobservatory would like to wish all it's nobwatching viewers a very Merry Christmas, and as a special seasonal treat we will be unveiling a new nob every day for the next twelve days to mark the Twelve Days of Christmas, so keep one eye out!

Our wintery extravaganza kicks off with this famous TV nob featured on the cult show Forbrydelsen. Positioned centrally between the two characters, we think it's almost like a sprig of mistletoe...

Enjoy!

Season's Greetings from Nobwatch

Fresno's Double Directional Dong

Spotted by a Friend of the Nobservatory, this double directional dong doesn't know whether it's coming or going! The chubby main shaft strikes a powerful silhouette against the sky but the little down-drooper tacked on shows two sides to the story.
The Nobtower is located in Fresno, CA. It's apparently quite the tourist attraction and well known for being quite, er... thick. If you are looking for LA when you spot this, you need to head another 35 years west.

Big Green Wanger

Another Big Green Wanger From Outer Space!
But this one is a real deviation in the stats... The Nobservatory found this alien monster on the side of an old folks home! Clearly those sprightly old nobartists have found a way out to indulge in their passions. The deftness of the line betrays the veteran nobartists' skill earned by years of donger doodling, the symmetry of the shaft shows the confidence with which they performed their task. The quirky freehand is only identified by an anomalous right bollock - a slight sagging of the curvature is detectable towards the nobartists' final squirts.

Fountain Phallus

No serious study of Nobart would be complete without a one eyed wink at Pompeii. This is the stuff that gives nobartists their validation! Possibly the only nobart to acheive listed status, Pompeii boasts streets lined with ancient wangers. Well worth a gander, and don't worry, unlike most nobart, this'll be around for a while yet.

The Crispy White Stuff

Ahh, it's back! That crispy white stuff is once again threatening to envelope our little bunch of islands... But bloomin' chilly conditions aren't enough to put off this proud Nobartist! His large scale dong is a striking piece of landscape nobart, monochrome and eyecatching in its bleak surroundings. Working in large scale is clearly this nobartist's forte - his skill is evident in the well balanced nuts and the parallel lines of the shaft.

Dream home...

The Nobservatory has spotted this advert on Offbeat Home... check the second picture... we're seriously considering a move!


http://offbeathome.com/2011/08/unusual-real-estate-church

Little Pebble Nob

This cheeky little pebble todge was spotted on the Norfolk coast. Strangely phallic for a pebble, it features a dinky little shaft and neatly rounded bollocks. It could almost have been carved!

The RogerTodger

This appears to be an example of collaborative nobart though the Nobservatory is withholding judgement as to whether both parties agreed to/ were even aware of the collaboration. What we have is a character, not unlike Roger from American Dad, but with a nose... a nose that features a cockend. The question that is baffling our experts is: which came first? the Nob or the Nose?
We are faced with three possibilities:
1. The section demonstrating the most skill, the Roger, came first and the addition of the Todger was a skit by the nobartist, ruining or enhancing the original, whichever way you interpret it.
2. The Todger came first. In which case we have an adapted eunuch nob on our hands. Perhaps the nadgerless nob irritated a Nobserver who decided to seize the matter by the balls and add more detail - note the sac like quality of the bald Rogerpate.
3. It is a genuine collaboration piece, both Roger and his Todger were drawn at the same time indicating that novice nobartists are starting to apprentice themselves to people who can actually draw. What an incredible leap in the development of the genre that could herald!

The "Big Dick Crew"

A purely typographical piece from the Big Dick Crew. The strokes of the cursive letters indicate a swift wrist action, similar to that which would be employed while firing off a nob. So why no nobs? Come on, Big Dick Crew, how hard is it? A quick one off the wrist is all it would take.
The Nobservatory bemoans the disengaged youf of today and their disinterest in NobArt.
Big Dick Crew: Show us yer Nobs! We'll judge the value of your package accordingley!

Chiswick Park Cockage

Another awesome submission from @Windust via Twitter. This ejaculator was spotted scrawled on the tarmac, surrounded by autumnal leaves. The nobartists chosen medium would appear to be chalk or carefully selected chalky stone, the former being extremely rare in any nobart outside the classroom and the latter involving quite a bit of effort on the nobartist's part. Either way, what a wonderful sight to lift your heart on your way to work!

Anonymous Nobartist, and of course @Windust, the Nobservatory salutes you!