Optinob

At the nobservatory, we've been keeping one eye open for so long - everything is starting to look a bit erect. This parapraxis phenomenon we call an Optinob.

To see if you've been effected - check the visual test below 

Don't see a nob, then you're doing ok.

Where's Willy?

Can you spot the sly addition of a dong in this picture? The Nobartists once more prove themselves the unchallengeable masters of subtlety.

Putney Town Penis

A swift nobs up to all the members of the Putney Town Rowing Club. We don't know whether one of your members drew this as a welcoming sigil informing other nobartists that here, they would be at home. Or maybe someone drew it because he thought you were all nobs. Either way, the Nobservatory salutes you!

Shadow Wiener

Look closer, Nobwatchers... Closer still... Can you tell what it is yet? This shadowy dong was discovered by an unwary nobwatcher staining London's underbelly with its sinister umbrage. A nobby version of a magic eye poster - a magic japseye!

Tin Machine

 This nobby tin machine is a municipal ticket dispenser and a perfect example of the wang-by-angle ("wangle") phenomenon. The machine seems to have been shaped like a funky little rocket, like you imagined David Bowie's Major Tom to have...
Fortunately for Nobwatch, the slot where the machine releases it's load is positioned just so making it look more like a massive bell end.
Hallo Spaceboy!

Betesticled Test Tube

Inevitable that a bit of frost proves irresistible for a post nobernist artist during a post pub amble home. The nob's stark shapes are minimalist and have a crisp modern feel. The shaft is shaped with clinical artlessness like a test tube balancing precariously on compass-drawn bollocks of varying circumference giving the piece a welcome imbalance.

Furtive Scuttler

The Nobservatory likes the furtive fluidity of this piece. One can almost imagine the artist taking a quick glance over his shoulder, whipping out his chalk, then dashing off his daubing. This is reminiscent of the naive style of cave painting. Perhaps the drawer then took a step back, surveyed his handwork against its housing back drop, smirked proudly to himself before scuttling off.

The Pinkie Winkie

This is an unusual example of a tag/ nob combo. The Nobservatory wonders if the phallus is integral to the artist's signature? It is intriguing how the bell end and balls are almost the same dimensions. A creative illustration of the term "boner". Perhaps the tagger is showing us he is "hard"?

11: Pipes a-Piping

 This artist-cum-lyricist has created a two part extravaganza of musical splendour evoking the spirit of the festive season and riotous good cheer. The first instalment cocks a snoot at the eponymous 'dreamer' who has delusions of a seven inch winkie. This hinting at the superior length (and no doubt girth) of the artist's own. You can almost feel him smirking and jigging as he dashes out his image, the toe tapping sweep of the two neat bollocks and chirpy upward tilt of the tip. What a happy little chappy he is!

For part two, this artist is clearly on a roll.  He can hardly contain himself. Note the bubbly style of the handwriting, the consonant harmony of the libretto: "love-ly popp-ers" it positively bounces off its cold urban backdrop, with a frisson of mince pies, mulled wine and santa hats. The cock, by contrast is clean lines and simplicity: a piper, piping one pure clean note; a bugle call; a single horn blown. The clarity of the piece is unsullied by pubes, texture or even ejaculate. In composite these two make a truly remarkable opus.

6: Eggy heads

Nobserved by a Friend of the Nobservatory and duly pilfered from a mate's FB account - this unfortunate egg head has found his balding pate transformed, by a mere fold in the paper, into a massive dong.
The Nobservatory wonders: Who is this man?
If you know who this is and what the storyline was, tweet us the answer @nobwatchuk

Chiswick Park Cockage

Another awesome submission from @Windust via Twitter. This ejaculator was spotted scrawled on the tarmac, surrounded by autumnal leaves. The nobartists chosen medium would appear to be chalk or carefully selected chalky stone, the former being extremely rare in any nobart outside the classroom and the latter involving quite a bit of effort on the nobartist's part. Either way, what a wonderful sight to lift your heart on your way to work!

Anonymous Nobartist, and of course @Windust, the Nobservatory salutes you!

Tallwhacker Ceiling

Like Michaelangelo before him, this tortured nob artist took his work to the ceiling. Sprawling across a full panel of the wooden Ravenscourt park alcove, this work tells a chilling story of lies, betrayal and broken hearts. The headline “GULLIBLE” stands stark against the damp veined wood, while “FUCK U Alisha G bitch” adds some context to the anguish. Could Alisha be a latter day Helen of Troy?

Honing in on the detail of the illustration, this nob has been captured in angry inaccuracy using firm brush strokes. The left bollock is bizarrely distended, ballooning forth at an outlandish angle. The pubes are surprising bountiful, lending an almost Seurat-esque quality to the piece. And just discernable at the tip is little trickle of nob juice.

Alisha - the sadness you have caused has not gone in vain… another artist is born!