Keeping One Eye out for Nob Street Art and Nobject Trouvé

Saturday, March 31


This nob with it's stumpy stalk and ripe little bollocks has the appearance of a type of corymbical berry, like a pair of juicy little cherries.
A new type of fruit-based analogy, the Nobservatory is convinced that these nobberries will soon be ranking alongside the accepted canon of bananas and plums.

Thursday, March 29

Parson's Nose

Parson's Nose: A term defining the fleshy protuberence at the back end of a chicken. True.

The Nobservatory is unsure whether this is a Parson's Nose or a Deacon's Dong. Shiver me giblets.

Wednesday, March 28

Crochet Creeper Cock

The Nobservatory would like to applaud @Pocket_Punk's Mum for this hilarious nobby creation. 

This Big Green Wanger was originally intended to be a Minecraft Creeper - fortunately for NobWatch, the blocky forms of the Creepers do not lend themselves to the art of crochet - so by default Pocket_Punk's Mum skilfully crafted this adorable woolly todger! We love it!

@ Pocket_Punk & Pocket_Punk's Mum, the Nobservatory salutes you!

Tuesday, March 27

Beacon Nob

Another fine example of Council Sponsored Nobart. This may look like a normal traffic bollard during the day, phallical-y functional, but otherwise out of the ordinary. But by night it doubles up as a signpost! As soon as the streetlights appear so does the dong like shadow, always pointing the same way, directly to the pub. A Boozer Beacon guiding drunken nobs to where they need to be!

Saturday, March 24

Gardeners' Delight

Fresh from the Nobservatory Nurseries this new hybrid is set to take the Chelsea Flower Show by storm. This new breed, the Scrotus Verdi, is already creating a buzz in the gardening community. Affectionately known as 'Grandad's Bell', this is a hardy upright perennial hybrid of Bellflower, Dyckia and a Bulbous Assyrian Banana.

Grandad's Bell will grow good and strong in sunny sites near young ladies in bikinis. It can be susceptible to the Cock-Chafer Beetle grub in damp areas - a plump little grub with a swarthy tip and three legs.

Percy Grower
Gardening Expert

Thursday, March 22

Rudder Duck

A fantastic bathroom accessory for Nobwatchers!

Lurking beneath the surface, this sweet little ducky is armed with a most impressive maritime man-rudder. Streamlined as a pair of budgie smugglers the ducky's outsized underwater appendage acts as a rudder, perfect for navigating those treacherous bathwaters!

Thanks to @Windust for this excellent submission. The Nobservatory will certainly be purchasing one of these next payday!

Tuesday, March 20

Dust Nob

Welcome to the first day of Spring 2012!
A classic Dust Nob especially for our treasured Nobservers as a handy reminder that it's time to get your spring cleaning underway!

Saturday, March 17


Taggers. The bane of Nobartists everywhere! Taking control of all the free surfaces with their inane scrawl, these pen wielding parasites often invade scribble-able space pushing the humble nobartists out of their natural environments. But here we see what could possibly be a todger-tag hybrid! Like those annoying things on websites that want to test you in case you're a robot, some letters are vaguely discernible within the nob shaped outer frame. An S and an O make up the balls, perceptible in the middle there's a T and isn't that a dot indicating a J? And if you look at it from THIS angle it could be a...
Nobservatory cipher experts have thus far decoded the profound missive:
And noBiologists are investigating the possibility of this being a new species of Nobart.

Thursday, March 15


A fantastic typographical piece, the nobartist has utilised a pictorial representation of a dick to spell out the first syllable of the word. The nob itself is finely balanced, drawn with a fluid hand, the detail added with strong, confident strokes. The word is completed in the same definite style.
Such genuis is rarely witnessed in the field of nobart!

Wednesday, March 14

Dismembered Dong

If there was ever a reason to give up smoking, it's this. 
NobWatch's very own version of that horrible picture of blackened lungs/ baby on a ventilator/ an extremely bad straggly 'tache and even worse neck-bubbling on the bottom of your fag packet. 
Smoke, and yer nob drops off. 
Good luck to anyone trying to give up on No Smoking Day, you've got serious balls! The Nobservatory salutes you!

Tuesday, March 13


The happy dick-head cheerfully introduces itself to the world. A handsome chap, this flaccid nob provides a nose for the character while it's well balanced bollocks peer inquisitively from either side. The pubes create lustrous lashes while contributing to the dick-head's expression of constant surprise.

Saturday, March 10

Serial Schlong

In early March 2012, Nobservatory experts discovered a frighteningly well crafted nob. A classic ejaculator with pube detail, refreshingly etched in profile, an unusual twist.
The following day, the Nobservatory was confounded when another nob appeared overnight, a  mere stone's throw from the first.
The second schlong, though distinct by it's profile and overall appearance, bears alien features. Unlike the original nob, this second one is dichromatic, the pink shade used in the first nob is still there, but features only in the details. The familiar balanced outline is now etched in green, transforming the todge into a Big Green Wanger From Outer Space. The pink of the first nob can at first be seen only in the jizz and pubes detail, but the eye attunes into a sinster new development of a vein in the same colour. Could this be indicative of the Nobartist devolving?
Investigations are currently underway to determine the nature of this phallic flurry, could it be the start of a dong deluge? Is this the work of a serial cocker?
Roving Reporter, John Thomas, will be working with the Nobservatory to penetrate the mysterious circle of the Nobartists, boldly investigating the meaning behind all this and asking the greatest question of all... Why Draw Nobs?

Thursday, March 8

The Man Baton

A wonderful crusty golden submission from @pancake_one via Twitter. The lunchbox-lurking Man Baton provides a man sized stick for hungry Nobwatchers to get their chops around. Versatile, like all good nobs it can be cheesy, beefy or even taste a little like chicken. Tasty!

@pancake_one, the Nobservatory salutes you!

Tuesday, March 6


Hidden in the bottom right hand corner of this sign we see an intricate triptych of todgers. Examined individually, it appears that the artist has drawn the same specimen from three different angles, the two uppermost images portray the tackle from first below, then above; the scaling of the shaft and bell-end detail indicates the angle of the gaze. Then underneath a strident profile view to complete the set. The choice of location would appear to be an attempt by the artist to draw parallels between his own member and a popular, if overused, punctuation symbol.

Saturday, March 3

Dirty Old Chap

Check out this dirty old man! Basking on his beach towel with his wrinkly little stiffie bobbing in the breeze. NobWatchUK detects a correlation between the lack of a nob-drawing youf at nudist beaches who should be out busily cataloguing inspiration for their art, and the saturation of saggy sac'd seniors as such locations, their frequent visits attested to by their similarity in appearance to a sea of saddlebags with eyes. Three eyes each.

Thursday, March 1


We all know it's wrong to lie, and in the case of Carlo Collodi's little wooden chap a few porky pies could lead to an untimely excess of wood. Well, Geppetto, you can take your measly little wooden boy and knack off - the erector of this fine trouser-puppet has created an effigy of manhood!
Working with the natural forms of the stump, the artist has polished the glans to a fine sheen and engraved on the oblique testes the mysterious mantras "Play" and "Learn".