Tesla's Testicles

It's been a while since a Big Green Wanger from Outer Space has been nobserved on the streets. This diagrammatical chappy, with its veiny Lightning bolts allude to a RayGun Cock of devastating power in a potential upcoming invasion. We speculate they are being built under our feet right now, fully utilising Tesla's Teleforce particle beam ejeculator.

Jonathan Thomas

Recycled Nob

To herald the start of National Recycle Week - here's a wonderful flaccid wanger on the side of a recycle bin. The Nobartist's scathing social commentary is evident in the angle of the droop, drawing the viewer's eye to the pile of discarded litter it is impotent to prevent.
Remember, dear NobWatchers! Don't be trashy - Recycle!

Bone

Behold the mighty Bone!

Bone's diabolically fretted shaft protrudes darkly from the tri-tonal composition, a drone of dissonance from its burnt sienna background.

Nob or Not - Reader's Pole

Experts at the Nobservatory are baffled by these mysterious etchings...
Nobwatchers! We concede defeat and leave the classification of this dong to your superior expertise!

Is it...

1. A Trouser Snake? 
2. A Smiley One Eyed Worm?
3. A Tool Shed?
4. None of the Above?

Go visit The Noberservatory's facebook page to log your answers... 

http://www.facebook.com/Nobservatory

Willy the Whisp

Willy the Whisp or Willi Fatuus is the name given to the ghostly cock-like etchings that can be found around the workplace. They appear as usually flaccid todgers. Their presence is, alas, fleeting. Within a few days at most the Willy is scrubbed away, only a fuzzy,ethereal outline attesting to it ever having existed.

Happy Hallowe'en

Happy Hallowe'en Nobwatchers - just for you, a creepy fluorescent todger - oooh spooky!

Don't forget tomorrow is the start of our month-long money raising extravaganza - NOBVEMBER! We will be unleashing a comedy dong for your titillation every day during the month of November in the hope of raising a bit of dosh for Prostate Cancer UK. So if you don't fancy growing a 'tache for charity this month, come and support us instead! You can follow NobVember by:

Joining us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NobWatchUK
Liking our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/Nobservatory
Or simply dropping by the blog and checking out the fun.

If you'd like to donate, we have a JustGiving button set up on our homepage - anything you can spare will be appreciated. Spread the word to friends and family - charity in November doesn't have to mean bad facial hair!

Stroking a Length

 

The utalitarian background in the Council Swimmingpool style acts as a scale for this Olympic sized wanger. It's kraken like proportions dwarf a whole lane and it's aerodynamic plums are designed to neatly fill the skimpiest of budgie smugglers. Hmmmmmmm.

This humble nob trains day after day, stroking each length with determination and grace.

Does the podium await? Our hopes are pinned on a golden gong for this dong in this summer's Olympics.

Waxy Wiener

To celebrate women's health week we will show a series of nobs crafted by female nobartists. Female nobartists are notoriously rare, though when discovered exhibit none of the reticence and need for anonymity associated with their male counterparts, often adding a signature to their work or working openly in public.
This first submission is an example of such public art, luckily snapped by a friend of the Nobservatory, this wax wang was skilfully moulded in a bar to the delight of onlookers.

VendettaNob

Good Morning Nobwatchers. It's 8.30 and this is The Voice of The Nobservatory broadcasting on 275 and 285 in the medium wave. It is the tenth of the fifth two thousand and twelve.


VendettaNob looms over it's viewers, a reminder of the Nobartists' relentless rebellion against the tyrannical dominance of the sociallyacceptableinoffensiveconformistart scene.


VI VERI VENIVERSUM VIVUS VICI

Sam's Squirter

A wonderful portrayal of nobart interaction! The character, Sam, looks slightly bemused by the massive load being shot with startling precision into the back of his, er... net. The comparatively massive dong with it's tidy pubes and rigidly angled shaft shows no such puzzlement its lines are strong and it's aims are true, the nobartists bold etching provides vigour and animation to the tableau.

Jolly Todger

This jolly todger seems to bounce of the wall, it's engorged bell giving it a trefoil outline and startling 3D effect. A notable feature is its immensely hirsute knacker sack, the nobartist appears to have revelled in the short repetitive strokes used to render the stubbly pubes, extending the groin-rug halfway up the visually truncated shaft.

Manpost

This wonderful flaccid dong juxtaposes its own droopiness with the solid steel post which is its canvas. The pert bollocks speak of energy, yet the chunky shaft droops groundwards ineffectively. Note the gaggle of youf lurking in the background. NWUK suspects these miniature miscreants of being the nobartists, yet their reticence is clear, their distance kept from their artwork. Experts at the Nobservatory believe that this constraint may be connected with the flaccid image, had it been a fine tumescent wang, it is thought they may have been more forthcoming....

Pocket Rocket

To Celebrate the Grand Achievement of Yuri Gagarin's First Manned Space Flight around the Girth of the World, on 12th April 1961...  the Nobservatory Salutes You, you have some serious Balls!

Easter Bunnynob

Happy Easter Nobwatchers! Just for you on this fine spring day, a cuddly little bunny!

(with a great big flaccid dong drawn in it)

Beacon Nob

Another fine example of Council Sponsored Nobart. This may look like a normal traffic bollard during the day, phallical-y functional, but otherwise out of the ordinary. But by night it doubles up as a signpost! As soon as the streetlights appear so does the dong like shadow, always pointing the same way, directly to the pub. A Boozer Beacon guiding drunken nobs to where they need to be!

Dust Nob

Welcome to the first day of Spring 2012!
A classic Dust Nob especially for our treasured Nobservers as a handy reminder that it's time to get your spring cleaning underway!

Dick-tation

A fantastic typographical piece, the nobartist has utilised a pictorial representation of a dick to spell out the first syllable of the word. The nob itself is finely balanced, drawn with a fluid hand, the detail added with strong, confident strokes. The word is completed in the same definite style.
Such genuis is rarely witnessed in the field of nobart!

Dismembered Dong

If there was ever a reason to give up smoking, it's this. 

NobWatch's very own version of that horrible picture of blackened lungs/ baby on a ventilator/ an extremely bad straggly 'tache and even worse neck-bubbling on the bottom of your fag packet. 

Smoke, and yer nob drops off. 

Good luck to anyone trying to give up on No Smoking Day, you've got serious balls! The Nobservatory salutes you!

Dickhead

The happy dick-head cheerfully introduces itself to the world. A handsome chap, this flaccid nob provides a nose for the character while it's well balanced bollocks peer inquisitively from either side. The pubes create lustrous lashes while contributing to the dick-head's expression of constant surprise.

Serial Schlong

In early March 2012, Nobservatory experts discovered a frighteningly well crafted nob. A classic ejaculator with pube detail, refreshingly etched in profile, an unusual twist.
The following day, the Nobservatory was confounded when another nob appeared overnight, a  mere stone's throw from the first.
The second schlong, though distinct by it's profile and overall appearance, bears alien features. Unlike the original nob, this second one is dichromatic, the pink shade used in the first nob is still there, but features only in the details. The familiar balanced outline is now etched in green, transforming the todge into a Big Green Wanger From Outer Space. The pink of the first nob can at first be seen only in the jizz and pubes detail, but the eye attunes into a sinster new development of a vein in the same colour. Could this be indicative of the Nobartist devolving?
Investigations are currently underway to determine the nature of this phallic flurry, could it be the start of a dong deluge? Is this the work of a serial cocker?
Roving Reporter, John Thomas, will be working with the Nobservatory to penetrate the mysterious circle of the Nobartists, boldly investigating the meaning behind all this and asking the greatest question of all... Why Draw Nobs?